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“Opening yourself up, even if it means your heart and soul are crushed. That’s what makes you stronger. That’s what gives you the power to move on, put the past behind you. To get out there, and get your heart stomped on all over again.”

Bill Bray

sufi poems, which says that god long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. i was never not coming here. this was never not going to happen.” — elizabeth gilbert – Google Search

sufi poems, which says that god long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. i was never not coming here. this was never not going to happen.” — elizabeth gilbert – Google Search.

I`m all out of words.

More of the Same Letter

Letter From Daniel

—————-
Now playing: Savage Garden – Truly Madly Deeply
via FoxyTunes

For ten years I have given  you nothing but the best of me, and now after ten years,  I have nothing to show for it, except my constant breaking heart.

I have always lived by certain “rules’ that I put in place myself, for not only my will to survive, but also because I have been and always will be determined to show others the kindness that I would appreciate being treated with.

Also because I wanted to be the better person in any situation.

YOu have called me names such as; a whore, stuid,a bitch, and many more, but those have never bothered me, as I know who I am from within.

But you really got me when you called me a fool.

Simply because you, of any and all, would know whether I have been one or not, as you are all I have concentrated on, or applied myself, to for so long now, that I believe you when you say it.

I must say it cuts right through to the bone.

I threw a love aside, I ridiculed and betrayed a love that , Although, not a perfect one, it was a true. and never swaying, and never ending one.

And for what?

To be scoffed at, laughed at, used and abused over and over. Until all that is left of me is  a carcass, with no light around me, no love within me, no strength to even pull myself up for the trillionth time.

And now, not only do I not have the physical wearwithal to start over, I have nothing to start over with.

You know why right!?!

I have been your fol one more time.

And now that I am sick, and weak, and needy, you carelessly tell me to go.

Go where? Man?

I have put everyone and everything aside, for so many years, and so many times now, that I HAVE no one, and no where, and nothing left, to go with or to, and you know that perfectly.

I hope one thing for you before your life ends…..

I hope that you become strong enough in character to be  accountable…. for all that you have caused to go awry, in not only your life, but in everyone Else’s whom you have stabbed in the back, the front, those of us that you’ve hurt, just because you could.

Because you have never been held accountable for shit!

That is precisely why you hurt the ones who have loved you the most.

Because you are never to blame for anything you do.

There is always a fall guy or a scape goat lined up for you to tell your own concience.

Once you yourself come to beleive your own lies, well then… It is easy to get everyone else ot go along with them.

Only I’m sorry to be the one to break the bad news to you, but that will only last so long, it will only get you so far.

Man. It may even get you to the very end of oyur life. I mean the very second that it ends, as you draw your last breath it will come to you though, like a freight train running through your mind. Like a camera on shutter speed with multiple frames ..click, click, click, click…..

Then it will hit you.

Oh, wait where am I going?

What have I done?

Oh GOD, Please HELP ME you’ll scream, but you are the only one listening, you are the only one left.

Only you and GOD.

May he bless you and forgive you with abundance my friend, ’cause you are one dude that id definately going to need it!

GOOD LUCK,

and

GOD BLESS….

Your wife who gave her all, all is what you took for granted.

shame  shame   blame  blame..

leave it

Leave home
Leave familiar
Leave the course you’re on because you never wanted to be there in the first place.
Leave him
Leave her
Leave because they don’t appreciate your love, now do they really?

Leave working for someone else’s dream
Leave the shitty scene
Leave your comfortable couch
Leave convention
Respectability
Responsibility
Obligation.

Leave the guilt
sorrow
abuse
violence
rape
Leave it in the past because fuck them for attempting to ruin your future.
Leave apprehension
Leave intimidation

Leave “what’s right”, because who are they to tell you anyway.

Leave glasgow
Leave new york
Leave miami
Leave chicago
Definitely leave LA, because there is an adventure
a plane
Bus
Train
School application
Job application
away.

Leave soul killing jobs
Leave negative people
Leave dead relationships

You are wasting your time
Your life
Your talent
Your love
Your opportunity

And with each passing day you slowly lose your shine
your glow
your spark
your fight
your heart.

You talk about it all the time.
Just fucking leave…

And find yourself.

i want to grab you.

to tell you that you must love me.

that you have to

because it must be.

so i gave  my

sweetness and my pure love

for nothing more

than a smurk

as you pass me in thew market?
How dare you?

I  loved you.

I gave it all up to you.
My past, my present as it was,

my mother, bless her for her wisdom.

In this all.

She begged me,my husband.

begged me not to go down this road with you!

Yet i would not let go.

of what i thought was my dream

my link to God.
A chance of a life full of him.

full of you

You had me before you started.

why oh, why

did you treat me so mean hearted?
What was your criteria?

crazy?

Lazy?

A woman as shallow as you?
You knew me well,

and you played me too.
I suppose you are so happy

to not have to hear my cries …

my cries for freedom for you demise.
I begged

and I begged you

to just let me know.

i suppose you did

but I could not bear to see you go.
The abuse, i could stand you see,

it’s all  i’ve known since infancy.
I begged and begged for the words you know.
Such the man i built should have told me so…

surely he would never hurt me so,

because I stood by him with my very soul.

All is done.

It is finally over.

Where does a broken little girl go?

While wearing her heart on her shoulder?

Thank you for the fantasy.

Damn you for hurting me.