someone

tossed

me down

a

neverending

dark

hole

had

doors

lead

to

rooms

decorated

with

heartbreak

and

dispair

rooms

have

windows

though

dirty

from

neglect

of

age

an’

cobbwebs

peeking

through

weakened

cracking

broken glass

window

eyes

saw

only

grave

storms

stones

and

rain

desolation

oh and

pain

clouds

frown

as

the wind

blows

cold

eyes

see

black and white

The

soul

absorbs

dirty

truth

darkened

rooms

reveal

emptiness

filled

with

lies

no

space inside

for

another

box

of tears

stacked

floor

to ceiling

why

no stairs

fireplaces

no

longer

hold

flames.

rocking chair

too

weak

for

comfort.

sofa

stuffed

with

screaming

memories

of

life

before

the push

mirrors cry

for

the

girl

trapped within

rooms

of

dust.

in

the

hole.

I was pushed…..

via imgfave |.

he
cares
again

his
good
deed

gift
giving
feeds
her need
her nakedness
as
all
turns
out
his
act
was
good

His
deed
done
with
cruel
intention

blindly

can she

not
for see

this

treatment

she
does

know

or not
an other
way
to live past

his

cruelty

by and with

good intention…

hear the silence between the noise

it is what every one wants .. ha ha

eventually

after glacicers crack

and hank williams dies

it is the silence.

did you ever see a night so long

when time goes crawlin’ bye

the moon jes went behind a cloud

‘m sa lonesome I could cry …..

-Epidus

….to a particular night in Amsterdam
when, for whatever crazy ass reason, my mother allowed her, then brother in law of 20 years past, (one of Larkin’s 10 brothers), who had just lost his job at the CDC for being a complete drunken cluster fuck of a lanky artist, who was fatally trapped in, I’m sure what was one of the most redneck, of southern Georgia’s redneck families. Yep, straight outta BIBB CITY, Ga. not Columbus, but worse! Right outta the Five Points vicinity of Bibb City, which is located in Columbus! For anyone who cares a bit! Any way, I believe you may have met him once. He was the only of 11 boys and 5 girls, who did not, A.) carry a switchblade.with which to defend the family business, which was , of course, the art of being a redneck pool shark or the wife of a redneck pool shark……
The point is….My mom had the only Coker offspring in history to have done ANYTHING besides sit in Bibb City hell until time comes to and end, and who actually became, of all things, an ARTIST for the CDC in Atlanta, although he was STILL a DRUNKEN SOT OF AN ARTIST FOR THE CDC IN ATLANTA!
Okay, Okay…here it is…… My mom, who allowed him to come for this visit, was not even IN Amsterdam yet, allthough my soon to be step dad, Guther, his ex-girl friend/ wife of my mom’s one time boyfriend back in a small town called Catalla, GA, also located outside of Columbus, along with THEIR child, whom he had not seen since birth, AND Larkin’s drunkard brother, Lynn, and I were all living next door to one of Amsterdam’s most notorious Hell’s Angels’, and his infamous Call girl to the noble men of Hollands’ girl friend, who by the way was called Rusche.
She had these awesome leather pants that zipped all the way around, and a pair of the coolest lace-up/zippered thigh high boots I have ever in my life seen!
Well Robbi and Rusche had taken us ALL, in their antique Jaguar, out on a dinner venture to this unbelievably small”hole in the wall” Portuguese resurant where I ate the most wonderfully prepared seafood “steamer” which I can only come close to describing by giving the insult of comparing it to an Italian “chiopino”. The food was accompanied by a homemade  Vino Verde that was so impressive to my 11 year old palate, that I am to this day in my 40th year of life, in love with Portuguese food, as well as a fondness of most any Vino Verde.
The festivities lasted until just before the sun was scheduled to rise on the Amstel Kracht.
This was not only the canal wherin our houseboats rocked side by side, but it housed the brewery of a couple of the world’s most famous Dutch beers; Heineken, and , of course Amstel Beir.
Which brings me right back to my reasons for writing this story;
ole’ Lynn Coker had had himself a grand time that evening, oh with the Vino and the other assortment of mind altering party favors Amsterdam has to offer up on an evening with such a festive nature, we were all trying to steady ole’ Lynn accross the plank leading across the RANK and poluted waters from the street onto our houseboat.
He was, meanwhile, oblivious to any of us, or the raunchy waters, as he bellowed out that old Hank tune:
Ya Hyere that lonesum whhhiperwheel…
iyt sayunds tu blu tu criii,
Thayat midnyte trane’s rollin bi…
Iii’m sa lonesum I culd criiiii…
Just as I had decided I felt badly for him, as they were all laughing at him, and making fun, I did the only thing a true redneck girl could have done under those circumstances…..
I chimed right on in with ole’ Lynn Coker!
But just as I did…, God bless his Redneck heart, he fell face first into that murky, stinky, highly polluted canal in Amsterdam.
I was left there with him. His head bobbing in and out of the water, STILL singing every verse, to pull him outta there.
I remember everyone sitting down to brunch as we finally came staggering through the doors…
I remember the 11 year old thought in my head to this day.
Good thing it took me this long to get him outta that stinkin’ water; cause now we got to ruin brunch for you at least!
I bet that stench lingers at the doorway of their boat to this day!
At least I pray it does!
I also hope Lynn is still living, pickled liver and all.
Hell he might be at P.J. Haley’s playin’ darts!

I love you Dad!
Sorry my stories are always so long!
Nite nite!
Ro

you think you got me down,

I”m not down at all

Just stuck.

But I got the chains

I got the brains

I”m pretty

I”m smart

Too nice

and kind

for the likes of you.

No my Brother,

YOU are DOWN

as far as a human can go on the chain of wrongdoing

and madness.

Well your madness will no longer be my sadness.

My life will no longer feed your mangled sense of existance,

While my soul is whitled away by your cruel intentions.

Fuck you!

Is what I finally say….

As I get up pff my dead ass and FINALLY show you who I am,

And EXACTLY where the fuck I came from!

THEN you will finally see what an once of

forgiveness really is worth…

Cause you”ll not get any from this trick,

cuse life is too short,

and time is too precious!

I don’t intend on swimming in that lake with you no  mo”.

So mote it Be Bitch!