Ketchup and Green Sunglasses

by yARN pUNK

It was during, as I remember with a six or seven year old’s memory, a wedding party for my dad’s good friend, Billy Phibin, that he and I had pulled off more than a couple of our wonderfully delicious pranks, practical jokes, and teamwork at pissing off his wife, amusing all the guests, and with a style all our own, left or mark on a couple of “celebutants” of the N.Y./Atlanta art scenes!

As I remember, one of them had, along with a terribly fake British accent, and some funky 70′s pre punk eclectic outfits, complete with a pair of unforgettable green sunglasses.The kind that would put ol’ Elton to shame!

My dad and I followed the two around the party heckling them most of the night, or at least during the time when we weren’t throwing bricks off the top of the building with Harold Kelling, or staring at the neon coca cola sign  that seemed to be  so close, that in my mind I thought I could touch it!

Then there was the swing that hung from a tall ceiling in the old Atlanta warehouse , that to me seemed more like a tree house full of everything wonderful and exciting.

It was just after he and I had just been caught tricking these chicks out of the “green sunglasses”, along with a phone number no less, by following them to their car, that my dad and  I came up with the idea to have a bit more fun, since we were already in trouble with Linda, and DaMama.

It was just after the “celebs” sped put pf there in their cute little sports job, that we put or plan into action…

By the way, looking back at them now, those two chick remind me of the two Crazy’s on the British comedy, “Absolutely Fabulous”!

Really! like someone saw them that night,  and decided on the show!

Back to the story…..

So.

As my dad positioned himself on the staircase as if he’d fallen. With his head, along with the plastic cup full of white wine he had been drinking,  spilling out onto the sidewalk, Off I went,sneaking through the crowd, into the loft’s cramped little kitchen, then on into the fridge, to scout for some ketchup.

Hah! I got it!

Only it was not before the “bride to be caught me, as she was mixing up some drinks,. She smiled and winked, gave me the go ahead  with then nudge of her chin

After I found my way back, undetected. We proceeded to put the finishing touches on our grotesque scene.  ….one that would most probably now, cause me to have a heart attack, if I were to come upon it!

After everything was just right, I got my Que to go and get the, already feed up, crew of people, who had been ready to go for an eternity, who were acting like they would just die if we werent on our way in a matter of seconds. And that if they had to put up with “just one more thing out of us”, they would all implode.

The scene was perfect! My dad looked like either Mick Jagger, or even Keith Richards during the thrushes of a major overdose, or perhaps just Joe Cocker on a bad drunk, with his head all bloody, from all the ketchup, strewn all over the  place, thanks to my creative forces!  hanging out into the city’s dirty sidewalk! With everything in place…

I went in, as a kid in hysterics, screaming how my dad was on the stairs and bleeding, after some grand fall or something, so with the whole fed up adult crew in tow, I led them back to “the scene of the crime”.

It was awesome! They were all freaking out, screaming for an ambulance, medic, anything, there was an; “Oh God, his neck is broken!” ,another scream;”And so are his legs!”

At that moment my dad springs to life as asome kind of zombie creature! I was ecstatic, bursting with pure admiration and awe of my dad’s brilliant performance. While the others were a lot less amused, we piled into an automobile and headed home with them scolding and bitching the whole way. Holding on to their own wine glasses for dear life!

Even then, my dad and I kept our ;ittle private buzz going.

….on our Ketchup and Green Sunglasses!

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