Rambolina lives in a place…

She lives in a place inside the scared, brave, grateful mind and in the heart, of a girl who has lived through just about every crazy situation imaginable. from being born pretty much dead…. to being a herion addict with a death wish… to becoming a recovering addict that was hit by a freight train….then learning the fragility of life. and the consequence of recless abandonment of ones self. She has really lived.Now she lives with the pain.

Ray Charles…………

One summer evening some friends and I went to Piedmont park in Atlanta Georgia to “see” Ray Charles and to hear him perform.
There were so many people, and it was so crowded that people were raising all kinds of hell. They were yelling over the music for others to sit down because they couldn’t see Ray Charles playing the piano.
This totally infuriated me!
I was 20 years old and ready to stand up for ol’ Ray Charles up there, even though he was well equipped to take up for himself!
He stopped mid-song because of all the commotion. When he did, I screamed at the top of my voice; “why don’t ya’ll all just sit down, Shut Up and LISTEN to him?!” He can’t SEE any of you, DO ya’ll think THAT stops HIM from making beautiful music for us?”
The crowd was totally quiet!
Everyone EXCEPT Ray Charles, that is!
He let out a great big smile and said ;”Right on Baby……..Not seein’ never stopped MY show!”
At that moment I felt such pride, embarrassment, and joy that I could not do anything but stand there and be mesmerized by Ray Charles, the man…. His music… And his words……
Here it is 16 years later.
After watching his movie. I have learned something new about myself through Mr.Ray Charles once more.
I am like the man, not the legend, in that I too was born with many disabilities. I was not even expected to live through birth, now after cheating death six times, I finally realize that through my mother’s guidance and the will that she instilled in me, I did live! And what a life it has been!
Only now though, that my mom is gone from here, do I realize that while trying so hard to hide my pain, to overcome obstacles, and become more than she imagined, I crippled myself.
I crippled myself just as Mr. Ray Charles did, in order to hide his guilt for something thing that he had no control over during his childhood.
We went down the very same road….
Medicating the pain of life through heroin addiction and self destruction.
Oh how nice it feels to sit next to myself and see that little girl who did not know anything else to do……..
It feels good to understand. And to forgive……..
I love you Mama.

For momma’s gravestone:

Though I know you are in heaven
And you no longer have to endure this place
My heart longs each and every day
To feel and see your beautiful face
I love you Mom…………..

Tonight

And tonite
it is
goodbye
as i write this to
you
my eyes are

dry at last
i stood
by you
through all that i could
until
at last
i could
feel

my
fear

that
fear
created
anger

the
anger
created

my unhappiness
somehow
fueled

your demons
it
fed your
hunger

to

see

me shutter

in misery

you
thrived
on it
you
survived

on
my
fear
made you

strong

made me

weak

until

i
could
stand
no more

you

boxed me
in

you
made me
stand

alone
in a corner

my
disappointment
woke me

before
i died..

..before
you broke
me

Ketchup and Green Sunglasses

It was during, as I remember with a six or seven year old’s memory, a wedding party for my dad’s good friend, Billy Phibin, that he and I had pulled off more than a couple of our wonderfully delicious pranks, practical jokes, and teamwork at pissing off his wife, amusing all the guests, and with a style all our own, left or mark on a couple of “celebutants” of the N.Y./Atlanta art scenes!

As I remember, one of them had, along with a terribly fake British accent, and some funky 70′s pre punk eclectic outfits, complete with a pair of unforgettable green sunglasses.The kind that would put ol’ Elton to shame!

My dad and I followed the two around the party heckling them most of the night, or at least during the time when we weren’t throwing bricks off the top of the building with Harold Kelling, or staring at the neon coca cola sign  that seemed to be  so close, that in my mind I thought I could touch it!

Then there was the swing that hung from a tall ceiling in the old Atlanta warehouse , that to me seemed more like a tree house full of everything wonderful and exciting.

It was just after he and I had just been caught tricking these chicks out of the “green sunglasses”, along with a phone number no less, by following them to their car, that my dad and  I came up with the idea to have a bit more fun, since we were already in trouble with Linda, and DaMama.

It was just after the “celebs” sped put pf there in their cute little sports job, that we put or plan into action…

By the way, looking back at them now, those two chick remind me of the two Crazy’s on the British comedy, “Absolutely Fabulous”!

Really! like someone saw them that night,  and decided on the show!

Back to the story…..

So.

As my dad positioned himself on the staircase as if he’d fallen. With his head, along with the plastic cup full of white wine he had been drinking,  spilling out onto the sidewalk, Off I went,sneaking through the crowd, into the loft’s cramped little kitchen, then on into the fridge, to scout for some ketchup.

Hah! I got it!

Only it was not before the “bride to be caught me, as she was mixing up some drinks,. She smiled and winked, gave me the go ahead  with then nudge of her chin

After I found my way back, undetected. We proceeded to put the finishing touches on our grotesque scene.  ….one that would most probably now, cause me to have a heart attack, if I were to come upon it!

After everything was just right, I got my Que to go and get the, already feed up, crew of people, who had been ready to go for an eternity, who were acting like they would just die if we werent on our way in a matter of seconds. And that if they had to put up with “just one more thing out of us”, they would all implode.

The scene was perfect! My dad looked like either Mick Jagger, or even Keith Richards during the thrushes of a major overdose, or perhaps just Joe Cocker on a bad drunk, with his head all bloody, from all the ketchup, strewn all over the  place, thanks to my creative forces!  hanging out into the city’s dirty sidewalk! With everything in place…

I went in, as a kid in hysterics, screaming how my dad was on the stairs and bleeding, after some grand fall or something, so with the whole fed up adult crew in tow, I led them back to “the scene of the crime”.

It was awesome! They were all freaking out, screaming for an ambulance, medic, anything, there was an; “Oh God, his neck is broken!” ,another scream;”And so are his legs!”

At that moment my dad springs to life as asome kind of zombie creature! I was ecstatic, bursting with pure admiration and awe of my dad’s brilliant performance. While the others were a lot less amused, we piled into an automobile and headed home with them scolding and bitching the whole way. Holding on to their own wine glasses for dear life!

Even then, my dad and I kept our ;ittle private buzz going.

….on our Ketchup and Green Sunglasses!

Go Now and Live

[

Memories

The Unknown and What is Yet to Come

I made it this far without you
Even the time I had with you
You did not commit to me

Our marriage was but a fling for you
Just another thing for you
simply tossed aside
No rules to be applied
No fuss no fight
would come out of me

I was an easy mark
A walk in the park,
An easy mark for you
.
Just as a Jew wore that star on her coat
I wore my pain like a badge on my sleeve
My scars shined so openly

So easy it would be-
-to snuff out the spark I have owned
Since my father gave life to me.

My life with you was like a Holocaust
A burning of my soul.

It was  My strength inside
my inner core of light,
that twinkle in my eyes,

It was that spark you could not snuff out,
You are but a son of an evil thought,
Speaker of all things dark,
You are the fool without a soul
You wear his mark
What, did Satan not love you enough?

I was born with many gifts
from God  given to me
A heart bursts with light and love 
A forgiving soul that knows know bounds
A mind so innocent
this wisdom keeps me whole-
- this mind does not forget.

It is
-the laughter, the sun, and the smell of Jasmine flowers
the moon, the lust, and fairy dust
-It is
through these things that
God lends his awesome powers!

They keep me full of hope and faith
- full of life and love
when you think you are lost
or out of God’s arm’s reach
look up into the skies
you’ll likely see a dove
with a ring in his beak
He’ll be flying high
with a message of recompense
It is true, we the meek
Yes, we shall inherit the Earth!

Romy
Praise God! I could not sleep until I wrote this down!

Two Years Ago When I met a Girl…..

I met a girl when she picked me up while  I was hitch hiking back from the health food store.

Her name is, well, I’ll call her “Mirror”. She was seventeen, with three different colors in her hair,and she was driving this great big mafioso looking thing down an old country road.

AND she picked me, a hitch hiker, up. like it was it was no big thing to her.

My first response after the normal howdy do’s, was;” Okay, first off, we are on this desolate back road, in the middle of BFE ,and corn fields forever. How do you know that I am not going to pull out a gun or a knife and slit your throat, or blow you away for your ride, or WORSE?”

She snickered and said,”Cause’ I can tell .”You aren’t that kind of person!”

My responsewas ,”How can you even  pretend to know THAT?”

She comes back with; “I can just tell”!

“Anyway, aren’t you glad I picked you up?’

“Of course!” I said, “but you need to be more careful!”

She dropped me at my house, and that was that.

I was left with hoards of memories sweeping my mind. Memories of myself at her age, along with her responses to my concern, and her total disposition, I knew I was staring into a mirror of my past!

I would, for sure, be seeing her again!

It was approx. two weeks later that I saw her, in a little mustang, as I was walking my dog on that same old road.

She pulled of as she turned the stereo down, I think it was blasting some new girl band, “Hey girlfriend” she says with this sweet little sideways glance, as if she’d known me for a lifetime, “whatcha up to?”

Small talk over we decided ot hang out, so she came over to the house, we talked.

I got to know her situation a bit better, then I knew that I was looking into that mirror of my past once more, and that I had been placed into her life for a very special mission.

I also knew in my heart that according to what she was telling me, that she was headed for the same disaster that I had put myself  through, at that exact age, but I did not yet know what to do about helping her.

I was to find out, a little more than a year later, that i could not have done anything to stop it from happening at first, but that it was during the “aftermath” or the “beginning of the end”, where I would be called back into her life to “play my part” so to speak.

SO!

It was about a month ago, when I went to Spruce Pine to a thrift store with my neighbor, that I would be standing there looking at an old quilt that I wanted, but could not afford, when I hear this soft, sweet, little voice call me by my name….”Romy?’ “Is that you?”

“OMG I can’t believe it!”, and so on and so forth.

She was handing out Krispy Kreame doughnuts. So  I knew she’d gotten herself into some kind of trouble, and that she was doing community service for it.

Sure enough she had.

I gave her my  telephone number, and that was that.

It was about three days ago when I got a phone call from her, asking if she could come by to see me that afternoon after school, that she needed to talk, so she did come on by.

Now, I need to back up to two years ago again so that you know what is going on here…..

She hung with me that whole summer, and then into fall. I got to know her parents very well, and I became a sort of “big sister to her, and as I then thought, pretty close to her parents as well.

She had never been with a boy at that time, but she had made an attempt at a relationship with a girl at school, which turned out disastrous. It even landed here in trouble at school, with the cops, and with the DSS here in town. Her mom was going through chemo and radiation, and so was I. SO I really had a lot in common with almost every member of her family. Thus I became like a member of their family!

I knew from my own life, and my experiences at that age, that she was dabbling in some kind of drug activity. I just did not know what at first.

I got her to open up to me.

It was then, that I found out  she was stealing her dad’s 40mg Oxycontin and his 1mg klonapin out of his locked box.

She was not only snorting them, but she was selling them as well!

SO….. She was getting in with some pretty savory characters at that point, to say the least!  it was, OF course not long before she met a  guy, who was good looking, manipulative, cunning, most of all he had a raging monkey, the size of Detroit, on his back!

Sadly, only I COULD SEE IT!

Her parents couldn’t see in him the evil that i could.

So when she started seeing him, I went to her parents, with my premonitions, they said that I was over  reacting, and that i was too attached to their daughter, that I should just stay away for a while. Her mom’s words:”I mean really, Romy, he is a MARINE for goodness sakes, and the only reason he is home right now is to save his son from his drug addicted mother!”

They’ve  only in the recent past, found out, that he is using the boy as his meal ticket with the welfare and  department of Social Services here, and that he had been  using their baby for his other selfish adgenda of feeding his monkey and his disease.

“How could you even say such things about him!”

In my mind I was screaming, “Because I know this asshole. He is addicted to drugs, and he told me in the beginning, that he’d been doing dilaudid with his MOTHER. And well, we all know that the only way to do those damn things, is to shoot them up in your veins…DUMB ASS!” PLUS I even know his name. His name  is Daniel, I know him well, I ruined most of my young life trying to win his love. Only I did not know that I was up against something much more powerful than another woman, or anything else, for that matter! There is no match

I was talking to myself, but I knew it then. I was talking about my own experience with my first and truest love of my entire life. The ruination of me! The waist of more than half of my life!

My beginning of my end! The start of my lifetime of  heroin addiction and horror!

I also knew in my heart, that this would be the beginning of her end, and the beginning of her own horror. I also knew, that if she were to end up with this nobody bastard, that she’d be sticking needles in her arms within the year……

Again back to today……

After she called asking to come by last week, she did.

It was then that she took me into the bathroom and she says;”Romy, Do you want to know how bad I am on these things now?”

I answered for her with ,”So. DO you know how to do yourself?” “Or is that why you are here?”

The tears in my heart would not be held back, for I was looking at myself in the mirror. I have seldom felt such a sadness within me, as I did at that moment. She pulled up her sleeve, and there it was. so familiar..The same arm, same hole, same color, same thing. I wanted to puke.

She was so surprised as she asked;” How did you know Romy?” “How could you have known?”

I did not answer her then. I left the room not knowing WHAT to do or what to say.

I was at a loss for the first time in my life, the words just would not come!

She has just left my house, and my heart is heavy.

She came to me today for reasons that she, herself could never have understood.

I asked her what she was up to, she said she did not know, that she was just out driving, and ended up at my place.

I shared with her my story, and my reasons for caring so much about her.

I told her about the mirror, my addictions not only to drugs, but to the stubborn dream that  I had carried with me for eighteen years.

I answered her questions. I completed her sentences. I felt her heart breaking, and I helped her to let go.

She was so shocked at what I shared with her about myself and my own life, that it brought her back into her own reality, and out of the web of lies a deceit that had been woven around her.

I feel good!

I feel lie she KNOWS now.

She sees through me, that we are totally capable of allowing someone elses demons drag us into oblivion. And that their misery can so easily consume us, and take over our very life!

I held her for a long time. We cried together.

I cried for her,but I also cried for the girl that I once was before Daniel, before NYC, and before the misery.

She cried for me, but she also knew that she was crying her own tears for herself, her kind heart, and for that which could not be. She cried  grateful tears, as she knows now, that she is not lost. She is not alone.

And that I’ll have her back, whatever the cost.

Her spirit is strong, she will succeed, she got what she needed most.

A friend and kindred spirit and wisdom from me.

It hit me then, There was my reason for being on that old back road, hitch-hiking two years ago!

I dug up a Diamond

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Csgwxfa1Ksw

When is it (in life) That Everything Goes Wrong?

Or is it that nothing in life  really ever goes wrong,

but that life takes its course

no matter what we do

to change it,

to stop it,

to make it work,

or break it into pieces…

…and just give up?

Who do we blame

when we realize

that we have become unhappy

with who we are, or where we are going,

or that perhaps we are just not getting there fast enough?

Who?

When?

Why?

If we sit and ponder

our minds will wander,

slowly life will surely pass us by!

You Only Cheat YOURSELF

You did to me

what I

would never do to you

You used it to taunt me

You used it as your gauntlet

You annihilate me
Over and over

You cut me constantly
You burn me

Oh what humiliation…

But you could not turn me
And that is why you hate me

It’s that part of me
That you know will never belong to you

It’s that part of me

that you could no longer manipulate

It’s that part of me

you cannot, and will not conquer

…And that
BOTHERS YOU!
………..Boo!

Fuck Your tyrarny!

I am passed

trying to understand

what your intentions are,

were,

or

what they would have ever become

with me.
Why did you

choose me

to torment?
What is it about me

that makes you want to

hurt me,

insult me,

belittle me,

and run ruff shot over me, when I am

and have been

the ONLY person who

has ever stood by you

no matter what.

Even so, you treat me like

a piece of trash

that you would just as well wipe your ass with.
You have disrespected me,

my home,

my heart,

and my dreams

of ever

having any kind of life with you.

I have been tormented by you

until

I really just want to be

rid of you and

and anything to do with you,

any memory

of you ever having been in my life!
Your pure unadulterated filthy meanness is

so obnoxious

and heartbreaking, that I frankly,

want nothing more to do with you

ever

anymore!
I just want to be far Away from you!
I pity you!
I really do.
I wish you well,

but I know now

you will never have any kind of  life with me,

Simply because you never wanted that

or me.

So.

it is time

to pick up the pieces of my life

move on

with what I have left of the material things,

and build myself a new life,

with the help of my spiritual belief,

and the faith I have in my own self worth.

you have left me with nothing

but hurtfelt memories

and the realization

that you

never meant to do anything

but hurt and betray my kindness

and to test my faith in what could be.

Now

all I feel is  disgust at my own stupidity,

not to mention

my repeated self destructive actions

and simple hard hardheadedness

when it came to making things work with you.-

-You never cared enough to even try

so

I am

as of right now,

gone, gone, and gone,

out of your reach!
Your mean insults and ignorant gestures

can no longer hurt me, as ..

I don’t care

what

you do

or

say

anymore!
May your God bless and keep you!

R.Geissler

For Max, Husband, one and only…

I miss you so much sometimes that it physically hurts! Sometimes when I am awakened out of a deep sleep, and just before I realize that I am actually in hell, Whatever the smell is in the air that woke me to begin with makes me think I am home on 23rd st., and just for an instant I’ll listen for the television out in the living room to see if Gpa is still awake, but it is when I turn to reach for Max, that I realize I am not where I should be, and the jolt of reality hits me when I realize that it is all wrong, cause Max and I never slept “not” touching. And now as the tears roll down my face, I realize what a foool I have been, even worse, I have not been my own fool…But I have been a fool for the entertainment of others. I will never, until I am crossed over, and outta this world, going to be capable of letting the whole blame game, along with my aledged affair with Ronnie Freakin Riddlke go….I know at least Grampa will be there and at least HE will see and hear the truth of how I DID NOT BETRAY MY HUSBAND.. At least ,not before, and until, he drove me crazy while trying to make me carry the blame for the act of something I did not do.**** And then…….. Yes!…………I did, as God is my witness, betray him. I betrayed us in ways that have left, “my heart and me”, Broken….. ……in ways, I am thankful, unimaginable to most people living and breathing air today, tomorrow, I pray forever ****Sometimes I wonder if that was his way of dealing with his own guilt he had to carry for things he actually DID do. perhaps placing blame onto me, made his load easier to carry. I mean how awful could one hurt, to be sitting in a jail cell for a crime committed to get a fix for himself AND the HOOKER who was sleeping in my BED, then someone comes along to tell him that his wife, his life, his best friend, his favorite place, the one who is all that he knows…. from her voice, to her smell, to her hair, to her smile, to her hand that was meant always to be held inside his own. The one God made to be just for him in this lifetime…She was his very own Angel, and so was he hers…… Until that moment, that dreadful moment..The words blur together: “Sterling, we are sorry to niform you your wife is in a hospital bed 3200 miles from this jail cell dying, and you likely never feel, touch, smell, see, share, laugh, love, or hold her hand, ever again. Because of Heroin, a hooker, a carton of cigarettes, a needle, a tear, a freight train, a love so stoic and solid, never breakable bond of spirits—— ——Broken in the little time it takes for ones lashes to meet. Gone. not even goodbye… What a burden to carry ….. Time’s length not even a factor, because a moment like that can become a lifetime. It did. It became our lifetime. All of what it meant. Our Life. it’s reality. It’s beauty. A love so real, so kind, so cruel to love in this world, the way we did. No boundaries. NO rules. NO reason. no reasoning, why? two souls dancing a dance of a love so seldom born. He was my Angel, as I was his. I know this just as I know my fingers are shaking as I type this ending. I knew before my eyes reached him He was to be mine. I know we will have our dance Mom. I do not care how many lifetimes I must walk through. We shall dance once more. My heart tells me so.”

Here is the link !!! HILLARY !!!

http://www.savvysnoot.com/consignment-furniture-atlanta.php

Written a bit ago

I feel

someone

tossed

me down

a

neverending

dark

hole

had

doors

lead

to

rooms

decorated

with

heartbreak

and

dispair

rooms

have

windows

though

dirty

from

neglect

of

age

an’

cobbwebs

peeking

through

weakened

cracking

broken glass

window

eyes

saw

only

grave

storms

stones

and

rain

desolation

oh and

pain

clouds

frown

as

the wind

blows

cold

eyes

see

black and white

The

soul

absorbs

dirty

truth

darkened

rooms

reveal

emptiness

filled

with

lies

no

space inside

for

another

box

of tears

stacked

floor

to ceiling

why

no stairs

fireplaces

no

longer

hold

flames.

rocking chair

too

weak

for

comfort.

sofa

stuffed

with

screaming

memories

of

life

before

the push

mirrors cry

for

the

girl

trapped within

rooms

of

dust.

in

the

hole.

I was pushed…..

imgfave |

desc

via imgfave |.

His cruelty

It
reels her in
as he
makes
believe

he
cares
again

his
good
deed

gift
giving
feeds
her need
her nakedness
as
all
turns
out
his
act
was
good

His
deed
done
with
cruel
intention

blindly

can she

not
for see

this

treatment

she
does

know

or not
an other
way
to live past

his

cruelty

by and with

good intention…

here’s the email that prompted me:

funworKs in ears and toes

hear the silence between the noise

it is what every one wants .. ha ha

eventually

after glacicers crack

and hank williams dies

it is the silence.

did you ever see a night so long

when time goes crawlin’ bye

the moon jes went behind a cloud

‘m sa lonesome I could cry …..

-Epidus

The Hank Williams/ Lynn Coker Incident

Well the Ole’ Hank bit took me back….

….to a particular night in Amsterdam
when, for whatever crazy ass reason, my mother allowed her, then brother in law of 20 years past, (one of Larkin’s 10 brothers), who had just lost his job at the CDC for being a complete drunken cluster fuck of a lanky artist, who was fatally trapped in, I’m sure what was one of the most redneck, of southern Georgia’s redneck families. Yep, straight outta BIBB CITY, Ga. not Columbus, but worse! Right outta the Five Points vicinity of Bibb City, which is located in Columbus! For anyone who cares a bit! Any way, I believe you may have met him once. He was the only of 11 boys and 5 girls, who did not, A.) carry a switchblade.with which to defend the family business, which was , of course, the art of being a redneck pool shark or the wife of a redneck pool shark……
The point is….My mom had the only Coker offspring in history to have done ANYTHING besides sit in Bibb City hell until time comes to and end, and who actually became, of all things, an ARTIST for the CDC in Atlanta, although he was STILL a DRUNKEN SOT OF AN ARTIST FOR THE CDC IN ATLANTA!
Okay, Okay…here it is…… My mom, who allowed him to come for this visit, was not even IN Amsterdam yet, allthough my soon to be step dad, Guther, his ex-girl friend/ wife of my mom’s one time boyfriend back in a small town called Catalla, GA, also located outside of Columbus, along with THEIR child, whom he had not seen since birth, AND Larkin’s drunkard brother, Lynn, and I were all living next door to one of Amsterdam’s most notorious Hell’s Angels’, and his infamous Call girl to the noble men of Hollands’ girl friend, who by the way was called Rusche.
She had these awesome leather pants that zipped all the way around, and a pair of the coolest lace-up/zippered thigh high boots I have ever in my life seen!
Well Robbi and Rusche had taken us ALL, in their antique Jaguar, out on a dinner venture to this unbelievably small”hole in the wall” Portuguese resurant where I ate the most wonderfully prepared seafood “steamer” which I can only come close to describing by giving the insult of comparing it to an Italian “chiopino”. The food was accompanied by a homemade  Vino Verde that was so impressive to my 11 year old palate, that I am to this day in my 40th year of life, in love with Portuguese food, as well as a fondness of most any Vino Verde.
The festivities lasted until just before the sun was scheduled to rise on the Amstel Kracht.
This was not only the canal wherin our houseboats rocked side by side, but it housed the brewery of a couple of the world’s most famous Dutch beers; Heineken, and , of course Amstel Beir.
Which brings me right back to my reasons for writing this story;
ole’ Lynn Coker had had himself a grand time that evening, oh with the Vino and the other assortment of mind altering party favors Amsterdam has to offer up on an evening with such a festive nature, we were all trying to steady ole’ Lynn accross the plank leading across the RANK and poluted waters from the street onto our houseboat.
He was, meanwhile, oblivious to any of us, or the raunchy waters, as he bellowed out that old Hank tune:
Ya Hyere that lonesum whhhiperwheel…
iyt sayunds tu blu tu criii,
Thayat midnyte trane’s rollin bi…
Iii’m sa lonesum I culd criiiii…
Just as I had decided I felt badly for him, as they were all laughing at him, and making fun, I did the only thing a true redneck girl could have done under those circumstances…..
I chimed right on in with ole’ Lynn Coker!
But just as I did…, God bless his Redneck heart, he fell face first into that murky, stinky, highly polluted canal in Amsterdam.
I was left there with him. His head bobbing in and out of the water, STILL singing every verse, to pull him outta there.
I remember everyone sitting down to brunch as we finally came staggering through the doors…
I remember the 11 year old thought in my head to this day.
Good thing it took me this long to get him outta that stinkin’ water; cause now we got to ruin brunch for you at least!
I bet that stench lingers at the doorway of their boat to this day!
At least I pray it does!
I also hope Lynn is still living, pickled liver and all.
Hell he might be at P.J. Haley’s playin’ darts!

I love you Dad!
Sorry my stories are always so long!
Nite nite!
Ro

I am coming back and when I do….Whooohooo

Yeah Mutha Fucka,

you think you got me down,

I”m not down at all

Just stuck.

But I got the chains

I got the brains

I”m pretty

I”m smart

Too nice

and kind

for the likes of you.

No my Brother,

YOU are DOWN

as far as a human can go on the chain of wrongdoing

and madness.

Well your madness will no longer be my sadness.

My life will no longer feed your mangled sense of existance,

While my soul is whitled away by your cruel intentions.

Fuck you!

Is what I finally say….

As I get up pff my dead ass and FINALLY show you who I am,

And EXACTLY where the fuck I came from!

THEN you will finally see what an once of

forgiveness really is worth…

Cause you”ll not get any from this trick,

cuse life is too short,

and time is too precious!

I don’t intend on swimming in that lake with you no  mo”.

So mote it Be Bitch!